I had been carrying Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown around with me for months. I would take it on the train to London, to coffee shops, and on planes. Every time I started to read it; I would put it down after a few pages. It wasn't because I didn't have time. It was me. Something was stopping me. It was as if I didn't want to dive deep into emotions.

Finally, last Sunday, I had the courage to pick it up and finish it on Monday. It is a wonderful book. As a coach, it helps you to understand the dynamics of different emotions. I took a lot from the book, but the one thing that stayed with me is the chapter on love and belonging.

In the last few months, I had been working with a group of people in a volunteer organization. We had a lot in common, such as coming from similar educational backgrounds and having lived in the same city for a while. Despite all this, I felt like an outsider. I never felt connected to the group, and I tried to change myself to fit in. I thought this was being agile. But no matter what I did, I couldn't feel like I belonged. My head was pounding, and I was feeling stressed every time I dealt with the group, and I couldn't figure out why.

And then, on that fateful Sunday, I found the answer in Brené Brown's chapter on love and belonging. "Authenticity is a requirement for belonging, fitting in is a threat." When I read that sentence, I realized that I wasn't being true to myself and was working very hard to fit in to be accepted by the group. I must admit this took me by surprise! I was a leadership coach, and I was talking about awareness and authentic leadership on every platform. Yet here I was reading a book on emotions and having a light bulb moment about my own emotions and behaviours. This realization was so liberating. I felt free of all the "self-induced obstacles" in relation to this group.

I knew all along that authenticity is essential for connection. When we're authentic, we're able to be our true selves and connect with others on a deeper level. We can share our thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment, and we can build relationships that are based on trust and respect.

I also knew it's not always easy to be authentic, but it's worth it. When we're authentic, we live our lives with integrity and courage. We're not afraid to be ourselves, and we're not afraid to stand up for what we believe in.

We all want to be loved and belong to a group or a person. But the trade-off sometimes might be very expensive, and you might try to fit in rather than being your authentic self. All we need is to have the courage to be ourselves. Thank you, Brené Brown for reminding me this! If you haven't yet read the book, I strongly recommend it.